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As a borderline narcissistic introvert, you might be surprised to learn that I have friends, even friends from many different lands (states) and persuasions. Of course the rest of you won’t be surprised at all. Here, in no particular sequence of topics, are some observations from students, friends, and neighbors on dating culture among Mormons, and sometimes, others.

One friend observed that the experience of two relatives suggests that serious relationships among singles are drying up.

All un-coupled people are constantly being assessed and assessing—it creates a strange highly-charged atmosphere where men and women can’t just organically get to know each other, which is the norm in non-LDS dating.

It also increases the isolation of single people, and can exacerbate and further cripple the ability to relate to the opposite sex as anything other than a potential partner.

One friend observed that in her experience, such dry spells aren’t “uncommon in LDS circles, but *very* uncommon in secular/regular life [but see below].

The understood subtext to all dates adds an extra-weird pressure to LDS dating.

As with so much, Mormonism exaggerates things already there in the culture rather than making them from scratch.

A male colleague, in discussing dating culture among Mormons and the general scene in the U. told me that what he has seen among students at BYU and other universities leads him to believe that BYU and Mormonism in general put a particular spin on what has, by this point, developed into new cultural and generational (and class specific) norms.

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2) sexual activity is not dependent upon social exclusivity.

Two siblings, practically in elderly status (~30) are single and neither has had a serious boyfriend/girlfriend.

A close friend from his youth married a short time ago, his new wife was his first serious relationship in over a decade.

A woman friend related this experience from her time in YW: “One of my old advisers gave the entire YW the following advice: Just remember when you start dating someone that you’re either going to get married or break up.

Those are the only two options at the beginning of a new relationship.

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