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In the last chapter of my book I argue that courtesans and prostitutes were, in fact, perceived as masculine--aggressively masculine--or that they represented themselves as being aggressively masculine in the Greek world. It's clear to many historians that gender is socially constructed.
There are a few basic physical differences between males and females, but every culture adds a great deal of extra baggage on top of that, by saying that this is "normally feminine" and this is "normally masculine"--like the traditional idea pink is a color that girl babies should wear and blue is what male babies should wear.
That's the sociological frame, but when you're working in the ancient world there are no certainties because we don't have a lot of good evidence even for this kind of marriage.
Erotic magic, on the other hand, is based on cursing techniques and often seems to be used by one family to attack another.
In some cases, however, he might do this with the tacit agreement of her parents, who might be glad to forgo the expense of a wedding or a dowry.
There is not enough evidence for me to actually prove this, but I suspect that erotic spells were a kind of supernatural form of abduction marriage.
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