Dating a recovered alcoholic man
We cannot control it, we did not cause it and we cannot cure it."Getting Them Sober" is the best book I have ever read for me. As tender as I was, that book is easy to read and every bit of it opened my eyes big time. It is very tempting for us (as women) to romantacize about "forever" - i too fell into this trap a lot.
As long as we are focused on tomorrow, we arent really living in today.
I am going to insert between paragraphs on your post..is my experience, strength and hope...can use what you like and leave the rest....for me in bluecountrygirl84 wrote: I'm not really sure where to start in here.
I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and rarely drink and do not have any kind of struggles like that so I guess I didn't really know what I was getting myself he is brand new in recovery----RED FLAG.....people say that unless they have been in intensive recovery to get over the drinking AND the "ism" personality traits, they gotta be in recovery for , my sponsor said, 2years at least....anything other than that??? Soon into him moving in, we starting fighting a lot and my temper flared and suddenly he is blaming me for problems I didn't even know or think that I had and now he has walked out of my life because he says I am too unstable and need help and he doesn't want to be around me and I just don't know what to moved in???
I know that only alcoholics can help another alcoholic to understand but I am just at a loss and do not know what to do or what to feel. I am 25 and a single mom and I have a great job and bought my own house and prior to meeting my A my life was great and now I feel like i am in absolute pieces and I just am looking for guidance. i know...there..that...many times have i had to start over b/c of alkies???
Love is not enough...love is a compiliation of HAPPY memories and LASTING good experiences w/someone....it attraction or real love????? being sad, emotionally abused, abandoned b/c "you are unstable"???? I am in aca for LIFE b/c my non drinking mom became and alkie b/c of the horrible abuse her "party animal" child molesting husband TURNED her crazy first...drunk second...... now i have my own home, paid for.....small consulting business......doing OK, b/c I am taking care of me and staying AWAY from toxic people....is a CHOICE...being given a 2nd chance to take care of you by his walking away.....somebody "up there" is trying to help you..protect you.....
I pray you don't let it get destroyed at such a young age... Cry my tears, experience the grief and learn the lesson it offered that you deserve better and that there are screwed up people out there..post shows me you are a loving, caring person...young...is a hard lesson, but be thankful he did not do worse.....please take what you can use from this and dump the rest.....
I want him back and I know that is selfish but here I had thought I found the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with and now he is gone and I can't even figure out where it happened.
His moods switched from good to bad so fast that I barely had the chance to keep up. I think you partially answered your own question, when you said he only has six months of sobriety under his belt....
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