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But note that while the claims appear to be opposite from one another, the underlying fears are the same: In both cases a given bisexual is sure to end up with a male partner, as our society dictates that sexual relationships are only viewed as legitimate when they involve at least one man.

This leads to the perception that sex requires a penis to be considered “real” — or, put another way: only sex that involves a penis is seen as “threatening”.

Now no one is driving the process forward; no one sets up the next date, leans in for a kiss, or “buys the flowers,” so to speak.

The gay women I’ve dated don’t expect me to perform romance as a man would, because their relationships have never or rarely included men, and as a result they’ve created their own version of what romance looks like.(This piece was originally published at The LStop.org)Within every lesbian community there exists a tale as old as time, a proverb as common as it is contentious: Bi women cheat, betray, and ultimately leave — never for another woman, but for a man.Like those who flee the tumults of city life for quieter and less complicated pastures, bisexual women may seem destined, in the eyes of gay women, to trade the grit and hardships of queer life for the suburbs of heteroville.As a result one rarely hears these concerns echoed in the gay male community; why would a gay man ever fear losing his bi male partner to a woman?This principle can be explicitly observed in how most heterosexual men view a woman’s bisexuality as exciting and acceptable, because in his mind no sex involving two woman can truly be a threat to him, as his penis would be the only one around.

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